When does it get easier?

Posted: December 11, 2014 in Featured
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I hate my ex……I hate the courts…..I hate the attorneys……I hate the counselors……I hate this time of year anymore it used to be a time of joy, now it’s just pain, never ending pain. Much to the thanks of my divorce. God you can suck it!!!!! Why is the whole system out against fathers? Why? Why? I don’t understand, I am a good father or at least that is what I am told. I feel like a horrible failure. I keep trying to find new reasons not just say “I’m done”. The list is becoming extremely short. This fight has started its third year, I am amazed as I look at photos of my son, I completely break down and cry. I am so tired of this fight. I was told the other day that they thought I had a warriors heart, I’m not sure. I’m not sure I have any fight left. At what moment does the warrior realize that this is the fight that he is not going to win? How many times does the warrior get beaten before he stops getting up? How much pain does he endure before succumbing to it?

I’m not sure I can see myself clear of this holiday season…..

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Comments
  1. krazykris71 says:

    http://thebloggess.com/2014/01/strange-and-beautiful/
    Please take the time to read this post. If you need someone to talk to, I’ll be your shoulder. you can reach me at my email kitkat200271@yahoo.com or on Kik messenger at kinkyminx71. I’ve been where you are and made it to the other side. You can too. I’m Kris, btw.

  2. krazykris71 says:

    Reblogged this on Not the real me and commented:
    please everyone take the time to reach out to this man and help give him some words of encouragement. Depression lies and I’d hate to see a child lose a parent. Thanks blogosphere.

  3. Pete Deakon says:

    Hey Bud, I am just finishing up a book that may change our lives for the better. I’ll let you know when it’s out. (Give me a month or two). You might enjoy this scene/post from the other night: http://eff-five.com/2014/12/09/i-dont-like-it-when-you-laugh-at-me/

  4. jblondie says:

    Get it all out! Vent away! Write and write and write…until you fall asleep. haha The warrior keeps fighting because he’s a warrior and that’s what his ass does. Is he exhausted? Sure! Does he get sick of fighting never ending battles? Hells to the yes who wouldn’t? …but if he doesn’t fight…who will?

  5. The whole divorce system is extremely taxing – it bleeds our money and our energy when we need it most. Sometimes it helps to step away for a day or two to reset and clear the mind. It does get easier, but nowhere near as quickly as you want.

  6. Scott says:

    I feel very blessed to live in a state that treats fathers favorably (compared to most states), but I know how horrible it can be for some fathers. Divorce is a horrible, shitty business, and I’ve been through it twice, so I feel you.

    It does get better, though. Hang in there. Your kid needs you.

  7. Even though my divorce is more-or-less settled, I often feel the same way when dealing with my ex. The one reason, the only reason I always go back – as to why to keep fighting – is my son. Remember that when everything seems bleak.

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